While my Mom was visiting over the weekend, she brought up a conversation she keeps having with other people. She was telling me about a young lady who keeps getting questioned about when she’s going to have a baby? Let me point out, said young lady is only in her mid-20’s, going to school for a demanding career, and is just recently engaged.
My first reaction is, “Leave her alone!” My Mom likes to use me as an example and tell them that no matter how much she would poke at me, I just wasn’t trying to have a child before I was 30. (It’s true. I was committed to party hard at least through 30.) And that doesn’t come without resentment. My Mom has been pushing me to have another child since immediately after we had our first. She keeps telling me my clock is ticking. (Cue Jessica eye roll here.)
Why is it so important to some people that women have children at a young age? Why is it so bad to be an “old mom?” Why the pressure to bring a child into a mad world?
From my own experiences, had I gotten unexpectedly pregnant from any relationship I had between the ages of 18-23, that would’ve been the worst thing EVER! I would’ve been linked forever to abuse, neglect, denial, or just plain misery. Every relationship was an epic mess. For a child, given my mental state at the time, I would’ve been the worst mother ever. I had no clue or direction. I would’ve been another girl stuck in a dead-end town, going nowhere fast. At that time, I was a mess. I had no business having a child when I was so broken. More than anything, I was a total moron. And selfish AF. I knew this about myself. And believe me when I say, I was actually content living that way.
Babies are a blessing. And as such, they should be brought into a situation where they will receive all the love they deserve.
No one should ever be pressured to get pregnant. It sucks so bad to be on the receiving end of that! Do you know what it’s like to have someone make you feel like you don’t measure up because all your friends and cousins (some even younger than you) have children? Have you ever been shamed because you chose to figure out a few things before becoming a parent? Do you know the guilt that comes from the possibility of not being able to conceive?
Do you know how it feels to live through a miscarriage? I do.
More on that next time.
Midnight Revelry 
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