Unfabulous

I haven’t written on here for way too long. The truth is, I’ve been on a major downer lately. I’ve been feeling really unfabulous. And honestly, my soul has taken a major hit.

Here’s what happened. My job situation has drastically changed. A few months ago, things happened and I found myself no longer doing what I was hired to do. I’ve gone along with it in hopes things would change. Now things have just shown themselves to only be getting worse for me. And the truth is, my mental health is not okay.

Two years ago, I had everything I’d wanted for so long. I worked so hard to get there. I really thought I had found my forever home. Now it’s just slipping through my fingers.

I find myself back on the dreaded job search. I can’t believe I’m back here again. To me, job searching is like the equivalent of dating. The whole process takes such a toll on my confidence. I keep second-guessing myself on everything. I lose sleep just asking myself, “Why am I not good enough?” I’m having this constant struggle of needing to remember my worth and hoping to find approval.

I don’t know how I ended up in this hole again. I gave up so much to dedicate myself to doing my best at this job. Now I’ve realized that putting all my eggs in that basket was a bust.