Lessons About Real

Any person who has raised a child will say it: Being a parent is not easy. I’m trying my hardest to raise a child who will know the world is so much bigger than what she sees. Aria is way smarter and observant than I was at her age. She’s pretty fearless when it comes to asking questions, and I love that about her. It’s forced me to find ways to explain things to her so she’ll understand, but also remain respectful to her intelligence.

Queens & Things

I’ve been watching the HBO series, We’re Here. If you’re not familiar with the show, the series is about drag queens who travel across the U.S. to raise awareness of the LGBTQ+ community and spread drag fabulousness one small town at a time. (Seriously, I want to be best friends with all of them!)

Anyways, one evening I was watching an episode and Aria sat down to watch while the drag show portion of the show was on. She enjoyed the performance and the music. At the end of the song, the new drag daughter gave a speech. Aria was suddenly surprised and said, “Whoa! She sounds like a boy! Why?” That’s when I realized I was about to be in for a very real conversation with her. I don’t want to lie to my kid, but she is 8 years old and I don’t want to scare her.

So I explained to her that, “Sometimes there are people who are born as boys, but when they get older they have a great sense of fashion and they dress as women in big costumes like those. They are called Drag Queens and sometimes they perform in shows like that.” I asked her if she remembered when we saw the drag queens at our local Pride event we attended? She said, “Oh yeah! Were they drag queens?” I told her yes. She said, “So sometimes boys wear girls clothes, and sometimes girls wear boys clothes?” I said, “Yes, that happens too. And that’s okay, right?” She said, “Yup, that’s okay.”

During that same episode, she asked about one of the women who was working with the queens and why she was crying? I explained to my kiddo that the lady was often bullied because she helped and spoke up for people who are different including different races. Aria said, “I’m different, huh?” I asked her why she said that? She said, “Because I don’t look like fill in whatever classmate here.” I said, “Yes, but that’s what makes you perfect.” I explained to her how she is half Hispanic because of me, and half African American because of her Daddy. I let her know a good way to describe her race is Afro-Latina. We spoke a little more about the subject, and she went to bed happy with a little life knowledge.

The Survivor Tree

Whenever we travel, I like to squeeze in some kind of educational activity for Aria. When we went to Cancun, we took her to Chichen Itza to learn about Mayan culture. Our last trip to San Antonio included the boat rides where she learned a little history about the city. In Dallas, we’ve gone to Legoland, which is much more educational than it sounds.

So a few weeks ago during our annual trip to Tulsa, Vince wasn’t on a tight schedule like usual. I asked him if we could make a quick stop at the Survivor Tree in Oklahoma City? As soon as we got there Aria wanted to know where we were. As we walked into the memorial, I explained to her that a person set off a bomb in the building that used to be there and a lot of people died, including children. She said, “That’s so sad.” I told her how each of the chairs represents a person who passed away that day.

As we made our way to the Survivor Tree, Aria asked, “Why is it called the Survivor Tree?” I told her how that tree survived the bombing despite all the damage. She was pretty happy for the tree.

So yeah, having to explain things to my child can be difficult, but it’s a reality I have to deal with. I’d rather my child be comfortable to ask me things that make me uncomfortable, than for her to receive misinformation from somewhere else (i.e. my Mom’s way left and her teacher’s way right political views). Of course, there are things she asks sometimes that she is soooooo not ready for like, “Mommy! What’s sperm?” But, I try my hardest to be honest with her and let her know when she gets a little older I’ll explain things to her when it’s time.

Miss Aria spreads love everywhere she goes. I want her stay that way as long as possible.