We’re All Mad Here

You know that post that says something of, “You don’t know what others are going through. Everyone is fighting their own battle,” or whatever preachy nonsense? I just got a dose of that.

Yesterday I ran into someone that I met way back when I first moved to West Texas. I hadn’t seen her in a long time, but we’ve kept up with each other over the social medias. I’ll admit, I’ve always been a little jealous of her because while I’m over here trying to figure out my left from right, she’s been kicking ass in her career. She takes all the cute girl trips with her equally-as-successful friends. And she’s got the biggest collection of Louboutins out of anyone I know!

She asked me about how things are going? I said, “I’m good. Just doing the tired, busy mom thing.” To this she replies, “You don’t know how lucky are.” I was like, “Excuse you? You’re this awesome CMO and I’m still at the starting line of my career.” I notice a slight sadness in her giggle as she answers, “Yeah, I work because I have nothing else. But you’ve got the husband who loves you and the cute daughter. I’m headed towards my second divorce. I’d give anything to have a husband who actually supports me, not just tolerates me. At this rate, I’m never going to be able to have children of my own.”

Damn.

And here I thought kids just weren’t part of her plan towards world domination. This person who I thought has everything is actually hurting. I felt bad.

I came home to find Vince and Aria had just finished up on homework. As I looked around our messy kitchen and saw my little familia, I breathed in a smile in appreciation for it all. We don’t have everything, but what we do have is real and it’s ours.

There are so many times we look at others and think, “Wow! They’ve got it all!” But we don’t stop to think, “What did it cost them?” That CMO has the career, but hasn’t found the time or right partner to start a family. That stay-at-home oilfield wife who gets a new designer wardrobe every time her family goes on a luxurious vacation – that’s the only time she gets to spend with her husband because he’s always working. That super skinny girl watches EVERYTHING she eats and works her tail off at the gym. Meanwhile, the rest of us are taking out tacos and cupcakes.

Husband and I will spend our careers working for education. Therefore, we’ll never be rich. On the other hand, we get the freedom to spend time with our kiddo and watch her grow.

I guess where I’m going with this is – Don’t presume. We’re all fighting some battle others have no idea about. Stay in your own lane and do your own thing. And most importantly, don’t be a douche.