The Aging Process

The other day at work, we were talking about the things that happen to our bodies after hitting 30. Yeah, I’ve already been through that one. My face started changing. The weight gain was real!

Then I hit 40 and a whole new type of body betrayals came through! This year, gray hairs have started sprouting in like 12 random spots on my head. My pores are bigger than most New York apartments. My ojeras are a lost cause. Losing weight is the hardest thing ever! I’ll spare you the changes that came after having a child.

My Mom looks at bands and singers from 20 years ago, and says things like, “Como está fregado.” Yeah Mom, none of us look the same as we did 20 years ago. Back then, even when I was fat, I was never more than a size 6.

And here’s the thing that really sets me off – I am actually old enough to say, “20 years ago…” and I was already an adult when whatever goes next.

Honestly, I look at my life in comparison to others around me, and I feel disconnected. There are people my age who are already grandparents. I just had my first child 7 years ago.

Then, there are people half my age who are so much further in their careers than I am. Mostly because it took me a long time to figure ME out. Also, I didn’t have any guidance in that area. I’ve had to learn from so many mistakes. Therefore causing setbacks.

I’ve had my share of struggles, but in between, I can honestly say I’ve had plenty of fun. I partied sooooo hard all through my twenties (and beginning of my 30’s!). I did the Spring Breaks. I did the study abroad thing. I almost died a few times. You know, all the things that make you awesome when you’re young!

Then I met the man who would be the love of my life. We’ve had all sorts of fun. Being broke was never better! Vince and I have grown up together.

I guess I’m just trying to accept and appreciate the aging process. There are so many people who have not lived to see 42. But it’s difficult to find that bright side when I’m having more and more days in which I just realize how uncool I am and how I don’t look cute in trendy clothes anymore. I have so many more things I want for me, but after being burned so much, I’m not sure what to do with myself. Is this what broken dreams look like?

Seriously, I don’t want to be the kind of girl who gives up on herself. I mean, the amount of money I spend each year on makeup would show otherwise! So I’ve decided to start saving money for a Mommy makeover here in the next 5 years. I’m not going out without a fight damn it! People might say inner beauty is more important, but I can’t do that if I look myself in the mirror and look like hammered hell.

So anyways, thank you for coming to my TED Talk.