So it recently dawned on me, next year it will be 20 years since I graduated from college. Damn. That’s a whole lifetime. Most people graduate from college, become wonderful productive citizens, and lead meaningful lives.
And then there’s me.
Let’s see where I’m at:
• I have yet to have a job that pays decently. That’s kind of sad. If Vince and I were to ever break up, I’m not sure I could afford to live on my own. I had a great-paying job for 2 seconds, but that was an epic fail.
• I’ve got myself in a nice heap of steaming debt. You know, between predatory student loans and just trying to survive, I’ll be broke for the rest of my life.
• I have zero parental pride or approval rating. Well, one parent is no longer earth-side. Not that it matters since my existence was pretty irrelevant to him. The other parent, according to her the best thing I’ve ever done was give birth to a child. But I even screwed that up because I didn’t have more than one.
• I started a business, but between burnout and COVID, it didn’t survive.
• Retirement plans are a no-go. I haven’t stayed at any job long enough to have a decent retirement fund built up. Then, I’ve worked mostly for education and that gives into TRS instead of Social Security.
• Since I’m not rich or fabulous, all friends and family have reduced to the people who tolerate me.
• I’ve put on a ridiculous amount of weight and I refuse to do anything about it. So much easier to just hate myself every day.
• I’ve learned that not being a douche gets you nowhere. Hence, why I’m still worthless.
So yeah, there we go. I still have no clue or direction. No net worth. How I’ve survived this long makes me think I might actually have a chance in a zombie apocalypse.
So here’s to another 20 years of not being worth a fuck!
Midnight Revelry 
I do understand the underwhelming feeling of looking back and seeing that you haven’t accomplished anything you wanted to at this point. But we all have our different rates of growth. Start out small and hopefully it leads to other small steps toward what you want for yourself.
I guess the most disheartening part of reading this was the fact you don’t think much of yourself. You’re a kind person and I know we need more of that in this world. You’re a mother but that’s not all. There are different kinds of success. You’re very talented and I hope you find the fulfillment you’re looking for soon!
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