Hot Mess Express

On Sunday evening, I turned in my final presentation for my Research Methods class. The project was much more difficult than I expected. There were three parts to turn in for the project. I didn’t do too good on the first two parts. The third part consisted of the final part of the project, a PowerPoint, and a video presenting the whole thing. I spent 2 weeks straight working on this last part of the final.

Then, I have so much keeping me busy at work. And I have all sorts of life stuff happening. Totally stressed and spread thin is an understatement.

After I turned in my final, I had a minor anxiety attack. I was sitting on the couch feeling my heart racing and trying to process that I just turned in the final. I told Vince I felt like I had just gone through a traumatic experience.

I don’t expect all A’s from myself. Honestly, for this class I would’ve been fine with a B. But after not doing too good on part of the final, I was starting to think I might end up with a C. In grad school, a C is failing.

The next day, the instructor posted grades quickly. I was shocked to see I actually got an A.

I guess what really saved me is that I rocked all the other assignments throughout the semester. And the instructor gave me props for kicking ass on the design of my slideshow. I mean, I’m a designer, if I didn’t do good on the design component of my project, I don’t deserve the title.

I know whoever saw my Facebook post where I was going off the deep end after turning in my final, might think I overreacted, but that’s my truth. This class was hard. I gave up my summer to get this done. I was seriously fearing that I might not pass. That fear is real. I’ve put my entire little heart and given up so much so that I can do this whole grad school thing.

So now I’m getting myself ready to start my next class in 14 days. It’s a writing class, and I hope I don’t end up with something stupid like writer’s block or brain fog.

To everyone who reached out and sent me encouraging little notes – Thank you! I promise they don’t go unnoticed.